12 steps for facilitators facing disruptive participants

You’ve got to establish a context for behaving well.

1. Be mindful of your language. Misbehaving is different from being rude.
2. Honor everyone as responsible and committed to learning.
3. Ask yourself what they “really” are saying by being rude. What’s the message they are sending. Ask yourself, “Am I listening to them, encouraging their point of view, or is this some residual effect of a previous unsatisfactory learning experience.”
4. Make upfront “behavior requests” a “code of honor” or “ground rules” whichever term you prefer. Here are some examples: Be responsible for your own learning. Be on time. Respect everyone. Confidentiality. Adopt a learning attitude.
5. Get agreement and buy in before starting! “Raise your hand if you will honor my requests.”
6. Don’t assume you have it without some outward sign from all of your participants that they have given it to you. Make eye contact as you see their response. If they don’t respond, ask why. Without this, in the future, the disrupter could say, “Well I didn’t give you my word…I didn’t say I would.”
7. Coach/facilitate/lecture from a place of giving and demanding respect. The rest of the people who are paying attention and contributing will resent your not taking charge of the “space”. Why should they suffer?
8. Use positive reinforcement for what you do want…“Thank you, great question.” that kind of thing.
9. Don’t get triggered. Manage your emotions.
10. What is also useful is to have someone they report to lead off the event and if they can, stay in the room to participate or observe.
11. Then if worst comes to worst, invite this person to attend another event…ask them to leave.
12. If appropriate, evaluations with space for comments also are good. When people know that you mean what you say and there are consequences for rudeness they will make different kinds of choices.Getting feedback is always a gift.

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