Promises are tools that build dreams.
You’ve got a dream, a vision, a goal and you make a promise that by such and such a date you’ll do this or that action to make it happen. You either do it or you don’t. If you don’t for what ever reason, procrastination, fear, etc. you now have either your reasons, stories, rationalizations, or excuses why not. You also self-sabotage and pretend that it didn’t matter anyway when actually you know that it did.
Let’s go back to the point of your making the promise. How did you feel then? Did giving the promise (especially to an audience where it has the greatest power, impact, and ability to empower others) have you gulping, stressing, and sweating? Was there this internal conversation – your little voice – saying I can’t do it anyway. I don’t really want to promise because what if I can’t do it. I don’t really mean it. Read on…
Next time you promise, take a minute reframing what it means to promise something. Promises are tools that build dreams. You may be one of those people who believe that they shouldn’t promise anything unless they know with certainty that they can keep their word, because breaking a promise is bad and wrong and cause for castigating oneself. If you believe that way, restrain and reframe your belief. It doesn’t work for you. If you believe that way, you want to be perfect and in control. Make the promise and do what it takes to keep it.
What stops people from promising or taking action is fear: Fear of what could happen in the future because of something that happened in the past. Whatever you fear has not even happened yet! The obstacle between you and acting are “future events appearing real.”
Let your reframe of your promises include a self-debrief of what worked, what didn’t work, what did you learned, and decide “next time I will…” Then pat yourself on the back, pick yourself up, and move on. My Mother used to say, “Do something even if it’s wrong.” Point is you won’t know if it’s wrong (it didn’t work) until after the action. Remember when you have your highest possibility in mind, your goals, dream, vision in play, when you promise and do what you promise no matter what the outcome, you win when you asked and answer those questions!
For more information, read How To Be A Positively Powerful Person by Dr. Joel Martin, International Trainer, Speaker, Coach, and Owner Triad West Inc. For Dr. Martin’s speaking engagements and trainings, click here.