If you are going to tell a story, make it a good one.

If you are going to tell a story, make it a good one.

If you are going to tell a story, make it a good one.

Things happen to you, and that’s a fact…What you say about the facts is up to you. Try this: Pick something that you consider a major event in your life that has an emotion attached to it. Tell a story about that major event in the third person. Then, tell a version of the same events as a whining person. Then, with you as the hero of the story. Notice anything different? Did the emotion change?

How we talk about the events to others and for sure to ourselves, is telling the story. You can be the hero, the victim…or it can be your Hallmark Channel moment. It’s up to you. And your emotions follow depending on how you speak about it.

Story and fairy tales

Learning how to find your way

Learning how to find your way

Learning how to find your way

lao tzu a path to leaning


“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”

So many ways to learn, how many to unlearn?

As adults we have our “to do” lists, the speeches we attend, the audio recordings, workbooks and other sources from the last, the latest and greatest seminar we went to. All because we have an insatiable desire to learn. Maybe it’s because of some problem we want to solve or some business strategy we want to learn….whatever, we are a walking talking commitment to ‘learning’.

However what we don’t realize is that it is the unlearning that most interferes with what we do to learn. Unlearn why we procrastinate, why we let those notebooks gather dust after the first rush “to do” wears off. Or we get scared. What gets int the way of our being courageous to do something about the stuff we called “learned”.

What do you need to unlearn? This is where the human connection can kick in; that he or she that gets you over some hump and into action. Rewiring the brain to unlearn is faster with a caring two-some.

“What does it take to go where you’ve never been?”

I read this in a brochure of one of my international clients. Got someplace, a goal, vision, a health issue you’ve never been or had before? Think about the impossible way you most want to be or goal you want to reach… then put it in the abstract. Distance yourself from it. Meaning, imagine it as a wilderness you’ve never been in before. Could be a new country you got a training assignment to work in…whatever. To go to that imaginary place, what would you do? Find a map? Use your GPS or Google Map to check it out? Get a guide? Google the weather, temperature and start packing accordingly? For sure, you’d let yourself get excited about the trip. Then if it was important enough to you, your life and/or your sense of adventure, you would GO!

Learning how to achieve the impossible

It’s no different with the journey to your ”impossible dream”. Get a guide…a coach someone who’s been there and done that. You wouldn’t want a guide who is as new as you to the wilderness, would you? Do you homework, don’t go in blind. Think, does he or she have the credentials for your particular journey. And for sure – get excited! Remember, what’s new territory you is the journey you choose and could be the journey of your lifetime, your next adventure. Too many times we don’t act with urgency to what our intuition tells us. Trust and step out.

Making Choices

Making Choices

Having to make a decision can be tough work. Making choices is even more difficult. I am one of those people who see decisions as something that is brought to me and choices as something that is in me to take some action … or not. We don’t necessarily think deeply about the choices we are about to make, and we should. The things that haunt you and I are the choices that we wish we hadn’t made. The choices that were made absent-mindlessly. Like that tweet, released.

Here is my cheat sheet on Making Choices.

  1. Choose from the goal you have in mind. Then do it.
  2. If fear steps in after the choice, do your best to follow through anyway. Fear is just a feeling.
  3. A choice is something that is yours, no one can take it away from you. “It is not what you call me, it is what I answer to” is one of my favorite quotes about a choice.

If you are up to something (goals, vision, dream, etc.) and we all are, let your choices be consistent with what you say you are about, the story you tell in your imagination about the future you want to live.

Need help to align your STORY with your LIFE? Does any of the following ring true for you? Then let’s talk:

  • Life is good but I expected more.
  • I’ve lost the rhythm, I can no longer hear the music in my life.
  • I’m the best at what I do at work, but does it really matter?
  • Could a coach help navigate through all of “this”?

Being rigorous or mindful about our choices does not take away our spontaneity or creativity.

Modeling Leadership? There is no Blueprint

Modeling Leadership? There is no Blueprint

Modeling is not a substitution for being real.

The idea of transformational leadership, leadership that impacts legions of people, is something that we want to replicate.  We want to understand the process of being great so that we can make a great difference. As an example, there is a lot of buzz about the movie “Steve Jobs” and his contribution to how we live now technology and leadership. Portrayed is also the difficulty he presented for those people who worked with him, that Steve Jobs was no saint. And yet for some people he was a pleasant and likeable genius. Human beings with a commitment can also show up like Mother Teresa. There might have had some moments where she was not so pleasant.

Ask yourself, what do Mother Teresa and Steve Jobs have in common?

Don’t get stuck mimicking or modeling style, it is not what has us do great things. There is no magic in the style of leadership, nor is following a set of numbers (15 keys to?) a blueprint for anyone’s success.


When you ask I will think and say, “Yes, of course”.

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Included in your branding are things that can’t be seen – the ways that people feel around you, the way your core values show up in your behaviors.

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