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When I interviewed women who had survived breast cancer for my art project The Woman Inside, I noticed that they all shared one remarkable thing in common.

They had all faced down death and decided to live every day like it might be their last. And then they all beat cancer.

The more interviews I did, the more I noticed that these women were living differently than most of the people I knew who had not been diagnosed with cancer. Here’s what I learned from those survivor women. Learning these lessons changed my life, and I hope they’ll change yours.

1.     Be unapologetically YOU.  People who survive cancer get feisty. They walk around bald in shopping malls and roll their eyes if people look at them funny.  They say what they think.  They laugh often. They don’t make excuses. They wear purple muumuus when they want to.

2.     Don’t take shit from people.  People who survive cancer stop trying to please everybody. They give up caring what everybody else thinks. If you might die in a year anyway (and every single one of us could), who gives a flip if your Great Aunt Gertrude is going to cut you out of her will unless you kiss her ass?

3.     Learn to say no. People with cancer say no when they don’t feel like going to the gala.  They avoid gatherings when they’d prefer to be alone. They don’t let themselves get pressured into doing things they really don’t want to do.

4.     Get angry. Then get over it. People who survive cancer get in your face. They question you. They feel their anger. They refuse to be doormats.  They demand respect. They feel it. Then they forgive. They let go. They surrender. They don’t stay pissed. They release resentment.

5.     Don’t obsess about beauty. People who survive cancer no longer worry about whether they have perfect hair, whether their makeup looks spotless, or whether their boobs are perky enough. They’re happy just to have boobs (if they still do). They’re happy to be alive in their skin, even if it’s wrinkled.

6.     Do it now.  Stop deferring happiness. People who survive cancer realize that you can’t wait until you kick the bucket to do what you’re dying to do. Quit that soul-sucking job now. Leave that deadbeat husband. Prioritize joy. They live like they mean it.

7.     Say “I love you” often.  People who survive cancer leave no words left unspoken. You never know when your time is up. Don’t risk having someone you love not know it.

8.     Take care of your body. People who survive cancer have a whole new appreciation for health. Those who haven’t been there may take it for granted. So stop smoking. Eat healthy. Drink in moderation. Maintain a healthy weight. Avoid putting toxic poisons in your God Pod. Get enough sleep.

9.     Prioritize freedom. People who survive cancer know that being a workaholic isn’t the answer. Money can’t buy health. Security doesn’t matter if you’re six feet under. Sixteen hours a day of being a stress monster is only going to make you sick. As Tim Ferriss writes in The 4-Hour Workweek, “Gold is getting old. The New Rich are those who abandon the deferred-life plan and create luxury lifestyles in the present using the currency of the New Rich: time and mobility.”

10.Take risks. People who survive cancer have faced their fear and told it to go to hell. They know life is for living. Fear is powerless. And joy lies in taking risks. So go sky diving if you want. Bungee jump. Hang glide. Spend your savings.  Live like you might die tomorrow.

Are you doing these things? Or are you waiting for cancer to test out how much you want to live?

Don’t wait for cancer, my love. Don’t tempt the Universe that way.

Be brave enough to live NOW.

Unapologetically and fearlessly living for today,

Lissa

© Copyright Lissa Rankin 2011

Every new piece of information we receive is begging for us to make a decision, an up or down vote, as to what our next step should be. We used to be able to follow a plan, or a strategy linking our decisions to those that followed our planning, you know “staying course”. This is nearly impossible now for individuals and at best difficult for organizations. We’ve always known that plans are flawed (planned for what can be “control”) and we are beginning to understand that we don’t control much of anything. I’m not at all suggesting that we are unable to make a difference in world, in fact each of us has our version of the iPod  embedded in us with a playlist ready to inspire us to make the most positive difference we can. The issue is how do we do this now as individuals and more importantly as communities? Just saying ” it’s not what I want or expected” is not enough. How do we together (all of us) create what we do want,What’s next for us?

So, how are you feeling?  Do you feel safe or fearful? Secure or insecure?   What are you experiencing physically in your body? Warm or cold? Slight heaviness in your chest region? How’s your self esteem? A little shaky or steady as a rock? What’s the status of your vision, mission, and purpose? Going full steam ahead or on the back burner “until conditions change.”

It’s a heck of a lot easier to feel secure, enlightened, and visionary when things are going good. But I’m in the business of supporting people to feel great and be successful regardless of the circumstances. So here are a few tips  for today, for all people in any life status. Take care of yourself! And those around you.

Improve your mood: Watch out for a craving for “comfort foods” like the carbohydrate-rich mashed potatoes, candy bars, buttered pop corn, pizza. These “goodies” can be “baddies” by providing only temporary emotional comfort. They will increase your blood sugar levels for a quick boost but two or three hours after eating these foods, your insulin levels will soar, causing your blood sugar levels to plunge….which leads to a cycle of more depression, stress, and bad mood feelings. Plus the pounds will add up and this is not the time to be overweight. You need to look your best and feel your best!

Take care of that gorgeous body of yours. Drink plenty of water. Eat your veggies and fruits. Choose foods with protein to strengthen and maintain your muscles. Foods such as almonds, fish, sushi and lean beef help to reduce mental stress by keeping your body physically healthy. (More food tips at www.eHow.com.)

Stay positive! Do what you can about what you can influence. Given the choices available to you, what do you chose? Your choices are always in your domain. Here’s some ideas:

• Give: What brings you joy? Volunteer. When you focus out through giving to others you will feel better. Volunteering is a plus on your resume too.

• Mistakes: Treat them like a learning opportunity. Imagine how few inventions there would be if inventors believed that their experiments that failed were mistakes!

• Give up being perfect: With perfection, there is usually no room for error or mistakes because we are judging according to standards that must be met. Excellence is a more workable goal. When you desire excellence, you will be more apt to learn, be energetic, and accept yourself and others. There are many ways to be excellent…and usually only one way to be perfect.

• Don’t feel sorry for yourself or others for too long: Pity parties don’t serve us. I would much rather have compassion from others than have someone feeling sorry for me.  How about you?

• Take Action: It is fine to ask the question, “What’s wrong?” The key is not to dwell on it. That leads to analysis paralysis. Get up! Get busy! Get out! Be good to yourself. Balance the activity with times of restoration, relaxation…too much of either will be counter productive.

• Someone’s Fault or “My Responsibility”: Believing that it is another’s fault when you don’t get the results you say you want removes you as the power source. In this thinking, your results are external to you. Your lack of success is caused by other people and you therefore have nothing to do with it as a ‘failure’ or importantly, a future successful outcome.

When you can consider your results your responsibility, you own the power even when this realization does not feel good to you. There is something that you can do about the result – even if only learn from it and use this knowledge in the future. This does not mean, however, that others do not impact your results; they do. But, you are the positively powerful person directing the course of your life through your choices.

With an astonishing estimated one third of Americans qualifying as obese, it’s no wonder that we hear so much about healthy eating habits and physical fitness. Kids are young and strong and usually pursue a physical fitness program out of vanity. That’s OK, but there are many more benefits to being physically fit than good abs. Also, physical fitness applies to every age group. When you maintain a physically healthy body, you can avoid many disease conditions associated with overweight conditions.

It’s long been known that being overweight contributes to heart disease. A new study determined that fully 2/3 of overweight type 2 diabetics found that all signs of their diabetes disappeared when they underwent stomach reduction surgery and lost weight. Unable to eat as much as they wanted, they were thus cured! People who keep fit live longer and suffer less disease. So there should be no question as to the importance of physical fitness.

Keeping fit is not difficult. It’s one of those situations where slow and steady effort wins. You just need to do regular exercise. Choose an exercise regimen you enjoy. That way, you’re far more likely to stick with the program. Swimming and bicycling are two excellent activities, as you’re using most of your muscles throughout the exercise period, with the added bonus of burning plenty of calories. Roller or ice skating are also good vigorous forms of exercise. If you enjoy walking, walking just one half hour each day, five days per week, can reduce your risk of heart disease by half. If you live close to work, try walking to work a few days each week. You’ll save gas too. If you enjoy the sports and fitness club environment, join one. Since you have a membership fee, you’re more inclined to take advantage of the facilities.

Once you’ve begun a regular physical fitness activity, it tends to grow on you. If walking is your exercise regimen, you’ll soon find that if you miss your walk for one reason or another, you’re disappointed. People who enjoy jogging are known to become almost obsessive in their desire to run.

While regular exercise is an essential component of physical fitness, you must also employ good dietary habits. If you’re trying to lose weight, count your calories. In any case, eat recommended amounts from all the food groups, barring allergies or other dietary restrictions.

Our society has become far too sedentary, with fit people in the minority. Each of us can stand some physical improvement, whether by exercising more or eating more nutritiously. Everyone should do what is necessary to reverse this unfit trend, for ourselves and our loved ones.

Are there “Incentives for Eating Poorly”? We would think that we have a strong enough will power or personal constitution to avoid doing all of the wrong things, but as this CDC report shows “U.S. Obesity Trends” we ignore what we can plainly see each day when we look in a mirror. The astronomical changes in our health status over the last twenty five years is staggering.

If we eat better then we would not have to spend hours each day feeling guilty about not working out. We are all smart enough to know that to much sugar, calories or fat consumed daily is not going to do us much good. We don’t need the extra weight, it is not in our best interest.

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October 28 and 29, 2010

WOMEN’S HEALTH PANEL:

Awaken to Well-Being: My Health – My Harmony – True Self – True Wealth Total well-being pre-supposes one essential element, the understanding of where you are in your physical, spiritual and financial health. To say it another way, you must be mindful of your well-being along multiple dimensions. Check-in with yourself during this compelling hour-long panel and uncover new ways to work toward balance and wellness. You simply cannot lead others without leading yourself to strength and health first.

To register and to learn more about this important event – Click here

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Swedish women who ate one to two servings of dark chocolate a week had almost one-third fewer cases of heart failure than those who didn’t eat it, a new study reports, but the results suggest that there was no protective effect for women who ate chocolate every day or almost every day.

The study, published online Aug. 16 by the journal Circulation: Heart Failure, examined heart failure rates in 31,823 Swedish women aged 48 to 83 who had filled out food questionnaires as part of a mammography study and were followed from 1998 through 2006.

Women who ate one to three servings of chocolate a month had 26 percent fewer cases of heart failure, and those who ate one to two servings a week had 32 percent fewer cases. The authors speculated that chocolate might reduce heart failure by lowering blood pressure; other studies suggest the flavonoids in cocoa may benefit blood vessels and reduce inflammation.

That’s good news! On the other side, the research also said that if we ate  too much chocolate we would put on weight. (Yes. and your point is)… Nevertheless, I am interested in learning about the best chocolate candy companies especially those operated women entrepreneurs. As the seasons for giving approaches, any suggestions?  And what are your favorite recipes? Your favorite purchased selection? My favorite chocolate chip cookies are made by Debbie Paine. She introduced them at the Positively Powerful Women Awards at the Ritz in Phoenix. Yummmmm!

Why is chocolate so loved and beloved?

Chocolate. The product of the cacao tree has been winning fans since Aztec leader Montezuma introduced the beverage (chocolate candy as we know it didn’t appear until the 1800′s) to the Spanish conqueror Cortez, who subsequently took it home to Spain. (While the original drink was rather bitter, the Spanish made a few creative innovations – using sugar instead of chilies, and adding cinnamon and vanilla).

What is it that makes chocolate so irresistible? A large part of chocolate’s allure, of course, lies in the taste – a deliciously rich concoction that satisfies the most intense craving. But several chemical reactions are also at work. For one thing, chocolate stimulates the secretion of endorphins, producing a pleasureable sensation similar to the “runner’s high” a jogger feels after running several miles.

Chocolate also contains a neurotransmitter, serotonin, that acts as an anti-depressant. Other substances, such as theobromine and phenylethylamine, have a stimulating effect. However, the truth is that scientists are still not positive how the over three-hundred chemicals contained in chocolate make us feel so good.

Regrettably, there is no total and complete cure for cancer although in some cases the cancer will go into a partial or complete remission. The term remission is used to describe the shrinking of cancer and it is used by doctors to categorize the extent of the shrinkage of the cancer…..The good news is that the earlier the cancer is discovered the greater the chances of treating it successfully and early detection most often means that less extensive treatment will be required. Click here for more.

Last February, I was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. My breasts or my life? I chose and choose life. I caught it early and took swift and drastic action including change of diet, end to procrastination on exercise, and de-stressing my work load and diet. I look and feel a lot healthier now! Here are some tips:

• Find a primary physician and team you know and trust.
• Trust your body’s signals and your intuition about your health. If you feel a lump, it’s not an accident! Have it checked out no matter how scared you are.
• Learn about the difference between alkaline and acidic foods. I shifted my diet to mostly fruits and veggies (alkaline) and cut out the fried foods that I previously loved.
• If you are diagnosed, Mayo Clinic and the Cancer Centers are doing breakthrough work in treatment.I didn’t learn about the survivor programs until after my treatment. I am learning about them now.
• Educate yourself. Visit the sites of the American Cancer Society and Susan G. Komen For The Cure for example.
• Learn about the high risk of breast cancer for African and African American women.
• Don’t go it alone. Ask for support. Give your care givers appreciation and support. While they may not show it to you, they have big feelings going on inside. Dread. Love. Concern.
• Learn what is going on where you live. Here in Arizona Michele Y. Halyard, MD, of Mayo Clinic radiation and oncology, convened a meeting of like minded women with the assistance of Marion Kelly, Director, Community & Business Relations Public Affairs. The objective is create a strategy to combat breast cancer. I will keep you informed. The Mayo Clinic is the world’s largest medical center. They are physicians, researchers, hospitals, fellows, administrators, community advocates…..learn more about the options they and other large centers provide online. Cleveland Clinic is another.
• In AZ I know of Bosom Buddies for breast cancer support, education, and advocacy. Their site has videos and is dedicated to “survivors helping survivors”. In LA, I discovered the Living Beauty Foundation.
• Share what you know that will serve others! Respond to this post with your info.

From the National Cancer Institute: In the United States, White women have the highest incidence rate for breast cancer, although African American/Black women are most likely to die from the disease. Breast cancer incidence and death rates are lower for women from other racial and ethnic groups than for White and African American/Black women.

It began when I was delivering a speech before women judges and attorneys. They seemed tired, overworked, and stressed. (I hoped it wasn’t my speech.) The question came to me so I asked,  “How many of you give to yourselves the way you give to others.” These women were making decisions that impacted the lives of a tribe, children, families, and a city. Anyone would say they were givers. Yet, only one woman raised her hand. Well this ‘sad news’ was begging for attention. I knew if they gave to themselves, they would live longer, be happier, healthier, make better decisions and bigger differences.  That was the genesis of Positively Powerful Women Awards and Women’s Workshops.

“This was my first time attending the Positively Powerful Luncheon and I can truly say that the energy in the room was absolutely inspiring.  It was so great to see such a diverse group of women come together and share how they were making differences in the world through their corporations, businesses, and non-profit organizations!”  

Many others expressed the same thing. So to our sponsors, thank you for assisting Triad West (producers) in making this possible – Henkel North America, Southwest Gas Corporation, Edward Jones, AZ Informant, and AZ Black Pages. To Rev. Velez-Simpson of Tanner Chapel, Diana Gregory, the Positively Powerful Committee, and Volunteers – your assistance, ideas, professionalism, and thoughtfulness made this a stellar event. State Representative Cloves Campbell, was the first man to share the podium at a PPW event.  He gave us a great short speech about why women should join him as elected officials.  Kudos to everyone who provided raffle items to benefit AZ Magic of Music and Dance. Ruth Covey, their president, appreciated the funds and support.

To the 2010 Award Recipients, Angela Curley - Manager Corporate Diversity and Inclusion, Henkel North America, Debbie Paine - Executive Director, Arts & Business Council of Greater Phoenix and Lorena Valencia, President/CEO, Reliance Wire & Cable‎,  you brought to life the reasons why you are each so successful. You embody what the event is all about. You are servant leaders who, by your example, inspire people to live their dreams. 

If you are wondering what was so unique about this awards luncheon, you will just have to attend one to find out. I am planning the next Positively Powerful Women Awards Luncheon for May 20, 2011. I look forward to welcoming you to it, to future “”Introduction to Transformative Leadership Workshops” and other Positively Powerful events.

As a speaker, I experienced this most recently at The Winner’s Summit produced by Deborah Hardnett. The audience was prep’d and ready for my message “Transformation’s In The Bag”. I and the other speakers were well taken care of as were the attendees. 

Deborah put a package together of speaker perks that I appreciated:  On-site photographer, Jackie Hicks (Fond Memories) and make up artist Erica Wilson. (Their photo of me is on the right) . Raw footage of my speech and those of the other speakers.  Well placed table for sales of books and products. A room with a beautiful view of the harbor.  The organization was introduced to me by colleague Linda Clemmons. After this experience, I’ll be back whenever Deborah Hardnett invites me.