Seth Godin advices “Repeating easy tasks again and again gets you not very far. Attacking only steep cliffs where no progress is made isn’t particularly effective either. No, the best path is an endless series of difficult (but achievable) hills.”

Our ability to take action is meaningful tough work a lot of the time. And not just any kind of action. If as a business person you spend all of your time working on volunteer projects, yes, that’s movement and contribution. However, are these activities easy and will they lead to the business profile that you want? Unless that’s your job, it’s certain that volunteering no matter how good you may feel afterward won’t pay the mortgage. And that reality feels awful. It will take action that may be uncomfortable and out of the box for you. Take the high hills as Seth says. Regardless of what your personality style is, it doesn’t matter. “If it’s to be, it’s up to thee.”

Now I’m off to put on my mountain climbing boots. I have some ground to cover and big hills to climb. Said in another way, “if it’s to be it’s up to me.”

POSITIVELY POWERFUL:

Leaders are aware of the impact they have on others. From my studies of behavioral science, I’ve learned the four ways of communicating that influence behavior. By identifying them and using them intentionally in your life, you will produce effects. The first is positive reinforcement. Using R+ with others you increase the likelihood that they will continue acting in the way you’ve reinforced. When you do a great job and meet or exceed your expectations, give yourself some positive reinforcement!

“Harriet Beecher Stowe.” Ohio Historical Center Archives Library. Call Number MSS0116 Box 106.

POSITIVELY POWERFUL: When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

1. “All the News that’s Fit to Print” , (New York Times)
2. “ It takes a licking and keeps on ticking” (Timex)
3. “Where vision gets built”. (Lehman Brothers)

Wait! Time and time again? Times have changed. You can now read the NY Times online, “print” hmmm not. Our watches are digital or on our phone. “Ticking” if you have the app. And Lehman Brothers is gone having declared bankruptcy.

If a company has an entrenched hierarchy, an HR director without vision and a passion for their people (Only “20% of workers are passionate about their jobs”… The Deloitte Center for the Edge: The Shift Index”), you can bet in time they’ll be experiencing  high turnover of good management talent, a loss of intellectual capital  a loss in consumer/client trust and a brand image that is passe.

In the past it took fifty years or more to get to this point in an organization’s life cycle, now it is taking less then ten years for companies to find out that they are no longer relevant, that their products or services are not answering the needs of the public, and that their brand slogans no longer create the progressive images intended.

Somewhere along the road to becoming a less innovative customer adverse organization, companies stuck with their top down directives rather than adapt “interactive communication” as pointed out by Stephen Denning in “Radical Management. Often the answer to how an organization can manage the future and changing times is an employee “sitting in the room”, not being listen to and asked about what they see. Why? Generational differences, non-inclusive staid corporate culture, lack of engagement, lack of leadership and vision. And maybe the complaint “I just don’t have the time.”

In today’s environment buying in to the plan falls well short of owning plan. Owning the plan can only occur when there is totally openness and everyone has the opportunity to contribute.

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When I interviewed women who had survived breast cancer for my art project The Woman Inside, I noticed that they all shared one remarkable thing in common.

They had all faced down death and decided to live every day like it might be their last. And then they all beat cancer.

The more interviews I did, the more I noticed that these women were living differently than most of the people I knew who had not been diagnosed with cancer. Here’s what I learned from those survivor women. Learning these lessons changed my life, and I hope they’ll change yours.

1.     Be unapologetically YOU.  People who survive cancer get feisty. They walk around bald in shopping malls and roll their eyes if people look at them funny.  They say what they think.  They laugh often. They don’t make excuses. They wear purple muumuus when they want to.

2.     Don’t take shit from people.  People who survive cancer stop trying to please everybody. They give up caring what everybody else thinks. If you might die in a year anyway (and every single one of us could), who gives a flip if your Great Aunt Gertrude is going to cut you out of her will unless you kiss her ass?

3.     Learn to say no. People with cancer say no when they don’t feel like going to the gala.  They avoid gatherings when they’d prefer to be alone. They don’t let themselves get pressured into doing things they really don’t want to do.

4.     Get angry. Then get over it. People who survive cancer get in your face. They question you. They feel their anger. They refuse to be doormats.  They demand respect. They feel it. Then they forgive. They let go. They surrender. They don’t stay pissed. They release resentment.

5.     Don’t obsess about beauty. People who survive cancer no longer worry about whether they have perfect hair, whether their makeup looks spotless, or whether their boobs are perky enough. They’re happy just to have boobs (if they still do). They’re happy to be alive in their skin, even if it’s wrinkled.

6.     Do it now.  Stop deferring happiness. People who survive cancer realize that you can’t wait until you kick the bucket to do what you’re dying to do. Quit that soul-sucking job now. Leave that deadbeat husband. Prioritize joy. They live like they mean it.

7.     Say “I love you” often.  People who survive cancer leave no words left unspoken. You never know when your time is up. Don’t risk having someone you love not know it.

8.     Take care of your body. People who survive cancer have a whole new appreciation for health. Those who haven’t been there may take it for granted. So stop smoking. Eat healthy. Drink in moderation. Maintain a healthy weight. Avoid putting toxic poisons in your God Pod. Get enough sleep.

9.     Prioritize freedom. People who survive cancer know that being a workaholic isn’t the answer. Money can’t buy health. Security doesn’t matter if you’re six feet under. Sixteen hours a day of being a stress monster is only going to make you sick. As Tim Ferriss writes in The 4-Hour Workweek, “Gold is getting old. The New Rich are those who abandon the deferred-life plan and create luxury lifestyles in the present using the currency of the New Rich: time and mobility.”

10.Take risks. People who survive cancer have faced their fear and told it to go to hell. They know life is for living. Fear is powerless. And joy lies in taking risks. So go sky diving if you want. Bungee jump. Hang glide. Spend your savings.  Live like you might die tomorrow.

Are you doing these things? Or are you waiting for cancer to test out how much you want to live?

Don’t wait for cancer, my love. Don’t tempt the Universe that way.

Be brave enough to live NOW.

Unapologetically and fearlessly living for today,

Lissa

© Copyright Lissa Rankin 2011

This is Neil’s life’s work: Male Involvement Coordinator, Child Crisis Center, Mesa Arizona at Native American Fatherhood & Families Association, Male Involvement Coordinator at Child Crisis Center Director at Fathers’ Resource Center. (“If you have fire in your belly, you are ready to fight with energy and determination for what you believe is right.”)

For too long the stereotype existed that only the woman took care of the children, that dads were “bringing home the bacon”, that children automatically went with mom, that community programs having to do with children were for women only….not so any longer. Both parents are important. I was honored to have had this brief opportunity to speak with a man who is doing something about it.

I met Neil when I interviewed him on a program to be aired on Scottsdale’s Ch. 11 TV station. He’s going to be speaking at the City of Scottsdale’s Cross Cultural Communication Series produced by the City’s Human Relations Commission. His event (one of 5) will be on Oct. 6th at Noon and again at 6PM.  The Commission was established to recommend ways to encourage mutual respect and understanding among people, discourage prejudice and discrimination and work towards cultural awareness and unity. For more info click here. “Father’s matter too” as Neil says. He’s got the commitment, tools and organizational backing to make sure they everyone gets the message and the education to make it so.

Every new piece of information we receive is begging for us to make a decision, an up or down vote, as to what our next step should be. We used to be able to follow a plan, or a strategy linking our decisions to those that followed our planning, you know “staying course”. This is nearly impossible now for individuals and at best difficult for organizations. We’ve always known that plans are flawed (planned for what can be “control”) and we are beginning to understand that we don’t control much of anything. I’m not at all suggesting that we are unable to make a difference in world, in fact each of us has our version of the iPod  embedded in us with a playlist ready to inspire us to make the most positive difference we can. The issue is how do we do this now as individuals and more importantly as communities? Just saying ” it’s not what I want or expected” is not enough. How do we together (all of us) create what we do want,What’s next for us?